Ode to Mama

Long-suffering & unconditional love are the best words that will describe how Mama lived her life. She has endured several loss in her family starting with her husband (Papa) many years ago, more than a year ago with her youngest son, Tito Boyet, and last month her sister, Lola Digna. I know I cannot fully comprehend the pain she has experienced with the passing away of her loved ones. I know that she even fears the possibility that she might even lose her two remaining children --- my Dad and my aunt, Tita Mary Anne --- because of their health conditions. Above all that, she is fully aware that anytime it would be her time to close the chapter of her life. Honestly, I am not even brave enough to see through what she is feeling because I know I am not that strong to endure it. Amazingly enough, Mama Nitang persevered and lived through her life standing tall.

Well, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I think another ordeal that she has faced was the feeling of rejection. Old as she is, definitely she is at the mercy of the rest of us. All of us have our own plans in life, and I guess most of the time it doesn’t include her. I know she is not ignorant of the fact that she might be a burden to the family where she is living with. She stayed at several homes for a certain duration of time dealing with different personalities. I think it was truly hard to fit in and be less of a burden. I am a witness to that when finally we took her in. Most of the time she is alone in her room. Despite her severe osteoporotic condition, she manages to sit herself up, walk and go around the house. Honestly, that feat is accompanied by severe joint pain. Her will to endure the pain worked for good in terms of her health. She never developed any bed sores nor pneumonia for prolonged lying down. There was no major medical complication that arose while she was here. She was never confined to a hospital. Sometimes she manages to go to the kitchen and find herself food to eat. She does this because she doesn’t want to be a burden to all of us. But I guess she doesn’t have to because she has all the right to be cared for.

Despite the loneliness, feelings of rejection and the physical pain, she never blamed anybody nor said a hurting word. She suffered in silence and was ever clinging to God. In fact, she could have pointed a finger at all of us demanding to be cared for after all that she did. Such an irony that we who are able-bodied and strong are easy to blame others for their shortcomings, but Mama has all the right to be helped but never raised a voice at us.

With the life the she lived and showed to us, truly she remained to be a good and faithful servant. Her life served as a testament that there is no trial that is difficult. I guess whatever shortcomings we have or any hint of bitterness should also be buried now. Honestly, I am happy that Mama has committed her life to the Lord. It is a time to rejoice because we know that Mama is eternally enjoying the presence of God.