Summit

A friend of mine recently conquered Mt. Apo. If I remember right, it took them three days before reaching the summit. During the trek, they made several camping stops to gather strength for the long climb ahead. They encountered rivers, stony paths and dark lush greens. It was an ordeal. What’s amazing is that despite the physical drain, they forged to move on. It was around 5 AM that I got a phone call from my friend telling me that they reached the top. The pictures she took showed a spectacular view. What’s interesting is that they forgot all the exhaustion and they were basking in victory they attained.

The mountain that I’m at seems to take a lifetime to climb. I have tread stony paths much like what my friend had. During the start of my climb, I was by myself and was traveling around in circles. As the days passed by, I realized that there are trail marks to guide me during the climb. I was ignoring them before and now they are making sense to me. Now, I can see the view below, but when I look up, the summit seems to be far away. The second stretch of my climb was a relative success. I was seeing progress. It was the time when I hibernated from the “gimik” scene and voluntarily cut ties with people who brought me there in the first place. The best thing about this stage is I have “buddies” who constantly showed the way.

I was getting the hang of things and decided to travel alone. I got lost and the altitude was decreasing. I think I’m close to sea level again. To my surprise, I saw my gimik buds whom I left at the foot of the mountain. They were camping and enjoying themselves. They chose to stay behind and dare not to move on. I was feeling tired and decided to join them. However, I encountered a lot of disappointments and heartaches. I was in the brink of quitting. I forgot the summit. I regained my strength and saw that I have a mountain to climb. Now, I’m half-way up again. I left some baggage and the trek is a little bit lighter now. The climb is also an emotional pruning process. There were a lot of facts to accept and to reconsider. I was looking for affirmation. I got a lot of it from people down below, but most of it were lies and have underlying agenda. But the surprise of all is that even people close to you don’t even consider you a potential partner. Ironically, people that were set-up with me will even take the risk to have a relationship with me and magnify qualities I have to make me look good to them. It does hurt when a friend whom you consider have the qualities you’re looking for in a mate indirectly rejects you and does not see a potential in you. I can’t blame them because what I show them is the unattractive side of me. How I wish someone will break the walls I created and see what’s really inside of me. I guess that person is too much perfect for me and seeks someone who is as flawless. The journey is getting tougher, but I need to move up.
I guess I have to redirect this love & passion I so long to share to that special someone to the patients I see everyday. I have been doing it ever since anyway. I guess their “thank you’s” are enough to last me for the day. Good thing the “indirect rejections” came in this early before I start to build emotional attachments again. History does repeat itself. Another baggage to leave behind.

Chris, look at the summit!