Sober 2

I consulted another friend about what had happened with Cypress. She gave a different insight to the situation. Firstly, I have no reason at all to get mad, because there's no reason to start with. The period of non-communication could mean a lot of things. I supressed the person to say what he wants to say, whether it is good or bad. Now, I'm left wondering what. I sought another opinion, and the bottomline is I should call Cypress to finalize it. I ate my pride and texted last night:

"I know you're surprised that I texted. My conscience is bothering me. Why can't you say what you want to tell me through text? I can take anything, good or bad."

Several minutes passed. No reply. Then I did the unthinkable. I called, twice. The phone was ringing until it went busy. It dawned on me that the answer is happening right in front of me. No reply. Not interested. I was happy & at the same time sad. Happy, that all these came to an end, with no hurting words said. Sad, because a budding friendship died a relatively uneventful end. I called my "match-maker" friend and updated him of what happened. He disclosed to me a recent conversation with Cypress and he was told that he felt differently towards me. My friend did not fully emphasized that statement to me, because he was hopeful since Cypress was still texting me after that. A painful truth. My emotions were toyed around. I saw the signs, but ignored it. I was stupid, but now...

"I see the light, oh what a light, and I am sober. All that you served to me, no longer will I drink it in. I took the time to think it over. I see the you, I never knew. Now it's finally sinking in. I am sober..."

I guess I should buy Jennifer Paige's album :-) It's all clear to me now. I can say, I'M SOBER! A friend of mine shared...

"...pain always comes with loving. One cannot exist without the other. But that being said - the heart was made to overcome hurt and love over & over again. Never be afraid of loving again just because of an unfavorable experience...'We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience make us feel complete, alive, where every sense is heightened & every emotion is magnified... It may only last a moment, an hour or an afternoon. But that doesn't diminish its value because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."

It's an experience to remember. I learned the hard way. No regrets. Time to move on.